STFU
Seriously. Sometimes people just need to be told to shut up. You can play along at home!
We'll get things started with one from the blogmistress, related to something you may have seen below: "Jonathan Franzen. No one cares about your stupid life and your stupid whiny friends. Shut up, Franzen." (It's almost poetry!)
Theodor Adorno! Shut up, Teddy. Just because you have time to sit around contemplating the dissonances in Beethoven and how they reflect the unresolvable conflicts of life doesn't mean the rest of us shouldn't be able to enjoy going to the movies. God, shut UP.
(yam again) Also, Claude Levi-Strauss, shut up! You're charming and brilliant, but enough is enough!
Shut your stupid mouth, Jim McGreevey. I feel no sympathy. Do not appear on Oprah, do not collect $200, McGreevey. Just go live with your hot aussie boyfriend in your multi-million dollar house, and stop trying to get me to buy your book. Nah gah happen. And stop making me pick who I hate more, you or Elisabeth "STFU" Hasselbeck.
Amy and I collaborated on this one: SHUT UP, JEFFREY FROM PROJECT RUNWAY! You are an ASSHOLE. Also, shut up, Jeffrey's neck tattoo! I hate Detroit.
You know who else needs to really take a time out? The people who live upstairs from me. I nicknamed them the Stompersons the first week I lived here, and since then, I have never needed an alarm clock, because each morning at 8.30 I am awakened to what some would call the "pitter patter of little feet."
I see it more like this: SHUT UP Stompersons! I know you have a small child, but do you really have to make me think the effing ceiling is going to fall in for approximately 8 hours of every day? Buy a rug!
And seriously, Dawson Leery (and by the mystic properties of transference, JvdB). You've needed to shut up since 1997! That's almost 10 years of being an unrepentant douchebag. I'm almost thankful I don't have cable, so I don't have to deal with you in syndication. Get off the TV and shut up! And stop telling me how much you love having sex with your wife! Did that work for Jim McGreevey?
Finally, no post on shutting your fucking hole would be complete without this: Shut up, George Bush. Just turn around and face the corner, and stop comparing Democrats to NAZIS and pissing all over the UN. WTFF?!
So, who else needs to put a sock in it?
We'll get things started with one from the blogmistress, related to something you may have seen below: "Jonathan Franzen. No one cares about your stupid life and your stupid whiny friends. Shut up, Franzen." (It's almost poetry!)
Theodor Adorno! Shut up, Teddy. Just because you have time to sit around contemplating the dissonances in Beethoven and how they reflect the unresolvable conflicts of life doesn't mean the rest of us shouldn't be able to enjoy going to the movies. God, shut UP.
(yam again) Also, Claude Levi-Strauss, shut up! You're charming and brilliant, but enough is enough!
Shut your stupid mouth, Jim McGreevey. I feel no sympathy. Do not appear on Oprah, do not collect $200, McGreevey. Just go live with your hot aussie boyfriend in your multi-million dollar house, and stop trying to get me to buy your book. Nah gah happen. And stop making me pick who I hate more, you or Elisabeth "STFU" Hasselbeck.
Amy and I collaborated on this one: SHUT UP, JEFFREY FROM PROJECT RUNWAY! You are an ASSHOLE. Also, shut up, Jeffrey's neck tattoo! I hate Detroit.
You know who else needs to really take a time out? The people who live upstairs from me. I nicknamed them the Stompersons the first week I lived here, and since then, I have never needed an alarm clock, because each morning at 8.30 I am awakened to what some would call the "pitter patter of little feet."
I see it more like this: SHUT UP Stompersons! I know you have a small child, but do you really have to make me think the effing ceiling is going to fall in for approximately 8 hours of every day? Buy a rug!
And seriously, Dawson Leery (and by the mystic properties of transference, JvdB). You've needed to shut up since 1997! That's almost 10 years of being an unrepentant douchebag. I'm almost thankful I don't have cable, so I don't have to deal with you in syndication. Get off the TV and shut up! And stop telling me how much you love having sex with your wife! Did that work for Jim McGreevey?
Finally, no post on shutting your fucking hole would be complete without this: Shut up, George Bush. Just turn around and face the corner, and stop comparing Democrats to NAZIS and pissing all over the UN. WTFF?!
So, who else needs to put a sock in it?
posted by liz at 9:07 AM
1 Comments:
Yeah, that voice really does need a time out. A slithy, manxome voice indeed.
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